Jan 30, 2012

My 4 red dresses of 2011-2012 (by:Katie)

Almost two years ago, Jenny blogged about her red dress moment (take a moment to read it.. I will wait) which inspired women around the world to stop neglecting themselves and finally do the things they thought unimaginable, silly, unnecessary and the like. This woman is seriously my hero.  Right next to Scarlet O'Hara.

 After reading it, I wrote about my very own first "red dress moment" which involved a ginormous red lighter that left me open to questions like "What on earth are you lighting with that thing?!"  But I wanted it and love it, and still have it to this day.  And every time someone asks to borrow my lighter, it becomes a conversation piece for a couple minutes and that is a good thing.

Then yesterday, Jenny revisited her traveling red dress and I sat in retrospect over my past year and wondered if I continued to have my own "red dress moments"-- and, in my own way, I have.

Red Dress Moment #1.  College.  This past fall, I went back to school after 16 years to earn my Bachelors Degree. I did this for two reasons.  The first is because I want my children to go to college and I don't want them to look at me one day and say, "But you didn't go".  The second reason was to prove to myself that I am smart enough and I can do it.  It may take me a little bit longer to achieve this goal, but what the hell?  I've already waited 16 years.

Red Dress Moment #2.  My first true love.  Originally, my degree was going to be Photography.  But I decided that I was going to get my degree in my first love-- Music.  When I was younger, the only thing I wanted to do was sing but I let too many people convince me that I wasn't good enough, or that my dreams were unobtainable.  Now I'm at a point in my life where I can say, "Screw 'em" and I'm doing it.

Red Dress Moment #3. Overcoming one fear at a time.  Because of the negativity I faced as a kid, I developed a horrible case of stage fright and am terrified of auditioning to be formally accepted into the Music Dept.  But on March 18th, fail or succeed, I'm auditioning.   This is the song I will be performing for my foreign language piece.  It's not my best and I messed up a couple of times while recording it-- but I hope to work out those kinks before hand. I am actually still in the process of debating whether or not I really want to leave this link here for everyone to criticize it.  I still have many fears and demons that I need to face and overcome, but--- baby steps. 

Red Dress Moment #4.  Publicly admitting embarrassing and sometimes humiliating body flaws.  For National Breast Cancer Awareness month, I decided to publicly admit, online , that I have severe asymmetrical breasts and have a prosthetic boob to correct it without having surgery.   And if admitting it wasn't enough-- I posted pictures of my prosthetic which I have affectionately nicknamed Diadoma.

So as you see (in the words of Jenny)

The traveling red dress isn’t always red.  It isn’t even always a dress.  It’s anything you’ve always wanted but denied yourself because you thought it was too silly.  It isn’t.  Joy is always worth it.  Go and find your personal red dress, my friend.
And wear the hell out of it.

Tonight, Jan. 29, 2012 at 12:10 a.m. I am making a promise to myself.  When I am finally handed my degree from Indiana University,  I will be wearing an actual red dress as I walk across the platform and you better believe I will be wearing the hell out of it!

Thank you Jenny for reminding me (again) that I'm worth it.

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